


Heal

by 84Reesdy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cutting, F/M, First Time, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Scars, Smut, Snapetober, mentions of depression, sxvxrxssnape's Snapetober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:21:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26971321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/84Reesdy/pseuds/84Reesdy
Summary: Sometimes to heal, old wounds must be opened.Snapetober, Day 11, Scars
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80
Collections: Snapetober





	Heal

The long sleeves, the layers of clothing that separated him from a judgemental world had become a cocoon of protection. His black robes emboldened him and he drew esteem from every person that cowered in his billowing wake. It had been years since he’d been mocked and ridiculed, but the memory of cruelty kept his guard well enforced. 

Severus was still somehow mystified on how she’d managed to subdue his defences. She’d been ever so subtle about it. Hermione Granger had not been known for subtle approaches. She’d recognized his solitude was just a mask for controlling his loneliness. But however she’d inserted herself into his life, he felt anxious when she wasn’t nearby. He had even requested her assistance in his classes when she wasn’t teaching her own.

His day-to-day in the hallowed halls of Hogwarts remained unchanged - few if any would have noticed a change in his demeanor. But in moments of seclusion, he was beginning to find relief is vulnerability. It was almost comical to him that he preferred to be so vulnerable around a witch that he so often detested in the past. It was odd that her determination was now endearing to him now when before it only made him desire to sew her mouth shut. 

Hermione had proved to be a trustworthy friend before anything romantic had developed. He’d feared at first that it was impossible for his affections to be reciprocated. A flushed kiss as they departed one evening put that fear to rest. The closer they became, the more of his fears evaporated. 

There had been flurries of stolen kisses in shadowy corridors and dark corners. However, though she’d spent nights in his chambers, nothing more physical had transpired. 

Hermione noticed his apprehension any time she attempted to further their physical exploration. She was not insistent about it, nervous herself in making advances. At first his resistance was discouraging, but she soon realized it was more of a challenge that she surely could overcome if she only could uncover his motivating factors. 

“Severus, have you ever tried removing it? The tattoo?” Hermione asked as they sat together on a settee in his rooms. She lounged against his chest, his arm draped over her shoulder while his fingertips mindlessly toyed with her hair. 

“The mark is impossible to remove. At least no one has discovered a way to yet,” he answered, feeling his forearm burn. The mark seemed to be sentient enough to know when it was the topic of conversation. 

“Well, it's not like I don’t know it there, Severus, you don’t have to be ashamed of it around me.” She tried to put him at ease, “I don’t judge you for anything in your past,”

“I know,” He did trust her statement. He knew she meant it. She had her own scars that he was sure she was less than proud of. But occasionally, when she was comfortable and warm in the sunlight, she’d push her sleeves up. 

“So why not let me see more of you then?” She sat up a little, looking him in the eye, “Your body would not change the way I feel.”

Severus wanted to believe her, but it was the oldest memories that scarred him the deepest. Moments of weakness and despair. He still wasn’t sure she’d understand and he would rather not explain, either. 

“There are parts of my life that you don’t know about,” He brushed his fingers through her bushy hair, but she captured his hand in hers, holding it steady. 

“Be brave...for me,” She implored him. A few moments passed and she began to undo the long line of cloth covered buttons that secured his sleeve so tightly. He felt panic fester in his gut and he knew his arm trembled in her lap. The shame of his past and the shame of his trepidation collided. But he couldn’t bring himself to wretch himself away from her. He was too tired to rebuild those barriers that crumbled at her feet. 

Hermione tried not to feel empathetic towards the tremble in his limb. She knew enough of his childhood and younger years to know that traumatic was a gross understatement. But she needed to push him a little to transcend this hurdle that had stalled them. She was more than a little nervous to become physically intimate with him, but her sleep was filled with sordid visions that if not actualized soon may very well drive her crazy with lust. 

His skin was even paler as she rolled the sleeve back. His veins were pops of color below the alabaster glow. But as she ran her thumb over the ridges, she felt unnaturally ridges among them. She angled his arm toward the light and noticed the particularly spaced lines. They started at just a few centimeters long and grew in length the farther up his arm they went, disappearing under the rolled cuff. 

“Oh Severus,” She ran her fingertips over the ridged scars again. 

“As unpleasant as my childhood was, being a teenager was even less so. The amount of ridicule I faced left me very…” He paused as he tried to remain unaffected, “hopeless,”

“So you did this to yourself?” She couldn’t help but note that while the woulds were devastating there was an organized beauty to them. Of course even in self harm, Severus Snape would be meticulous.

“Yes. The pain I inflicted on myself was much easier to cope with.” he wanted to pull away so much. It was always a conflict in his head - being ashamed of the act yet understanding it at the same time. 

“People can be very cruel,” She felt the tingles under her own scars prickle, “But perhaps we are most cruel to ourselves,”

Severus didn’t speak, but did nod. She began to unroll his sleeve, recovering his arm. He was not surprised, but he felt disappointed as she recovered him. Perhaps she was repulsed by his appearance, just as he’d feared. 

His disappointment abated when she took his other arm and unbuttoned it as well. 

“I may not be able to do much about the dark mark, but I think I might be able to help with these...if you would like,” She said as she finished loosening the sleeves. She didn’t not hesitate as she moved to the buttons that ran from his neck to his waist, “But they don’t really bother me.”

Severus felt a cold sweat break as Hermione unfastened the physical protective blockade. Her eyes would occasionally flicker up to his, seeing an uncertainty and a fearfulness that she was determined to eliminate.

“They don’t?” He asked, suddenly feeling as if he had been foolish to assume it would repulse her, “I suppose I was just so use to hiding them,” 

The sparse black hairs on his chest and stomach framed the faint lines of the lean muscles that lie underneath. The scars that adorned his arms were littered around his torso as well. All seemed to be part of a grander design and in very close symmetry. Their prevalence seemed to fade quickly though. Her hand reached out and lay flat against his chest, she slid it downward to his stomach, feeling it quiver slightly. 

“Has it been a while? Since a woman has touched you?” She asked softly.

“A very long while,” His voice was a little stronger now, “ and it's been just as long since I’ve touched a woman,” He did not sound as if he were dreading that. It was Hermione now that shivered, imagining the way his fingers would trail themselves along her skin.

“You don’t have to hide any part of yourself from me,” She said trying to keep her mind from running wild with salacious daydreams, “And if you’re comfortable with them, then so am I,” Her fingers passed over the scarred bulges. Severus felt himself relax and he slouched back. 

“You are quite a gifted witch, Miss Granger, perhaps you are familiar with healing spells?” His hand slid over hers as she stroked the center of his chest. 

“I’m very familiar in theory, Severus,” She grinned as it was not a grand assumption to assume she’d read about it, “And that’s  _ Professor _ Granger,” She playfully tugged a hair from his chest. He winced, but barely let a smirk curl his lips, “But perhaps I should use you for practice” She pulled her wand from her robe that lay over the back of the settee, “If this doesn’t work, I’m sure we can try some alternative methods.” 

Severus lifted his arm, pushing her wand to the side. 

“Perhaps you should enlighten me on these alternative methods,” He asked, a coy coolness to his tone. He was surprised how easily his reticence subsided. He tried to ignore the foolish feeling that tugged at him. Hermione deserved far more credit that he’d given her. 

“Oh?” She tried to read his playfulness and was pleasantly surprised to see he was being genuine, “Oh…” She repeated in a far more husky tone. She leaned towards him to steal a small kiss only to have his lips lay claim to hers after the briefest of partings. The passion he exuded left her unsteady and easy to manhandle as he pulled her in his lap. 

“I’m sorry if I have held myself b-” He began as they parted for a needed breath, but Hermione silenced him.

“You don’t have to apologize to me for anything,” She murmured, shifting so that her legs straddled his hips. She reached for the buttons of her blouse, but Severus replaced her fingers with his own nimble digits. 

“You undid mine, it is only fair that I undress you in return,” His fingers worked steadily enough that it hid any of his nervous jitters. Her subtle giggle as she watched his hands work amused him. His hands pushed open the shirt once it parted and let his eyes take in her form. Her skin was soft and supple and trembled under his touch as his hands explored her as she had him. 

Her simple undergarments were not a surprise, but somehow still the thin, white cups that were molded to her breasts made a heat stir in his loins. She reached behind on her own as his hands slid up slowly from her waist. As she undid the clasps, the cups loosened and fell away with little prodding. She gasped a shaky breath as he molded his palms over her instead. His eyes failed to commit, watching her face and her bare chest.

“Severus…” She wanted to make him aware of every pleasure he inspired, “They like that,” She blushed a little as she watched him manipulate her breasts. She bit her lip as he leaned in, capturing a nipple his is lips. A moan caught in her throat as her eyes fluttered shut and her eyebrows lifted in surprise. The rush of arousal between her own thighs was immediately evident as she pressed herself against his lap with a sudden urgency. The edge of his teeth teased her bud with a soft bite and the moan finally passed through her slack lips. 

“You’re very sensitive aren’t you,” His hand pinched the untasted nipple, making her hiss, but lean into the manipulation. He twisted it slightly until she grimaced, but groaned appreciatively, “And are aroused by a little pain as well?” His question was facetious as he pulled the abused bud slightly and let it pop back to her breast. 

Hermione let out her breath, not even aware that she’d been holding it at bay. Her cheeks were flushed as was her chest and she knew she was in danger of losing the upper hand. She wouldn’t have been too upset - there were far too many fantasies with Severus in complete control swimming in her memories. But in this moment, she’d been the one to persist and she wanted to reap her own rewards instead of having them handed to her. 

She ran her hands from his cheeks downward, over the rough patches of hair on his chest, downward to the patch of hair that trailed from his belly button and disappeared under his ever-tightening trousers. She fumbled with his belt, blindly, keeping his gaze with her own in a play for dominance. She raised herself off of his lap to give her hand space to work as it dove between his opened zipper.

She sifted past the hair matted below his undergarments and was almost stunned by the fleshy weight that she nudged against. Her fingertips curled around the exceedingly soft flesh. It was still heavy against her palm, and thick enough that its circumference kept her fingers from reaching the other side of her hand. 

“Oh my,” She whispered as she moved his foreskin fluidly over his rigid member, “You really buried the lead on this…” She accused him with a suspicious, but playful glare. 

“For fear of frightening you, my dear,” he felt a confidence flow through him and it extended through his voice. He felt a slight worry when she shifted off of him to stand at his feet, that is until she reached behind her and unfastened the waist of her skirt. As it pooled at her ankles, his own hand held his shaft in a familiar stroke as her thumbs hooked into the elastic of her knickers.

Hermione could barely tear her eyes from his self-stimulation. If she wasn’t primed before, the reality of his heavy, lusty stare on her as she disrobed definitely caused a rush of wetness between her legs. Though she was aroused beyond measure, her legs still clamped together tightly as she rolled the slick fabric to the floor. 

“You are quite the beauty to behold, Hermione,” His teeth gritted slightly as he squeezed himself, likely throbbing as she stepped forward to straddle him again and his wide lap stretched her thighs open. 

She could only giggle a little in response reaching underneath her to take his cock in her hand. He released himself willingly and shuddered when he felt her sex glide over his tip, leaving behind a slick hint of her arousal. She slid him down her slit a few times, building up the courage to let his thickness penetrate her. 

Severus felt her stalling. Flexing his hips slightly, his glans pressed into her. She looked surprised, gasping a little as his hands held her hips in place. 

“There’s no escaping me, Miss Granger,” His tone was sinister, but his eyes were kind and his lips smiled. She relaxed herself and let his hands pull her down until he was sheathed fully inside of her. Many times her breath hitched in her throat and when she thought he couldn’t possibly stretch her more, he did. 

He directed her body in slow, methodical movements at first, letting her acclimate to his sexual intrusion. She struggled to do so, even though the ridges of his member triggered rolling spasms among the depths of her sex. He moved a thumb downwards, massaging her nub in slow circles and he noticed that quickly his cock slid in her with much less resistance. His hands did less and less instructing as her sexual instincts took control. Her hips rocked slowly in his lap, sinking him deeper. She rested her hands on his shoulder, occasionally threading her fingers through his hair. 

She did not have to chase orgasms, they came naturally and regularly. The quivering around his cock made him tense each time as he clenched his loins, fighting against his body's need for completion. She was enjoying herself too entirely, he couldn’t rob her of pleasure this soon.

“We should have done this long ago,” Her tone low and raspy. She sank completely on him and though she yelped, she didn’t relent, grinding on him. 

“Don’t worry, my little minx, we’ll make up for lost time,” He almost panted, his eyes rolling back as her hips chipped away at his restraint. He couldn’t resist his release much longer. She grabbed his open collar, pulling him to her as she leaned into him.

“Promise?” She seethed the words, looking as if she were about to lose herself at any moment. He nodded quickly, his hands tightening around her waist as she bounced herself on him, “Oh Severus...make me cum!” She begged now as her body did everything it could to help her achieve that release. Her sudden shift into wild abandon spelled the end of his constraint.

He grunted as his cock shuddered, her sex clamped around him tightly. The heat and the rush of pleasure stole his sense from him as his mind emptied of thought, replaced by primal enjoyment of each passing second. 

“You tempestuous witch,” He growled as she continued to stimulate his spent manhood. She grinned at him very un-apologetically. But she did slow, her movements quickly becoming gentler. She nearly collapsed against his chest, her cheek pressed into his shoulder as she felt physical exhaustion overtake her. Hermione could feel the wild beat of his heart from his heaving chest and she was sure her pulse was just as erratic. 

They recovered in silence, holding one another. As she slid from his lap, she did not move to redress or cover herself, instead pulling her wand from her robes again.

  
  


Hermione cleared her throat as she placed the tip of her wand to a particularly large scar.

“ _ Reparifors _ _ …” _

As he felt heat emanate from the tip of her wand, Severus kept to himself that he knew many healing incantations and recipes for restorative draughts. Hermione’s attention may very well have been what he actually needed. 

  
  



End file.
